Its a little bit funny...

...how we don't really use this blog anymore yet I think it still needs to exist.

There is a lot of stuff going on in our individual lives and a lot of stuff going on at church too.

I don't know what to write just now but I know I don't want to abandon this yet.

A Long Time...

It's such a long time since any of us added anything here yet lives move on.

Junior off to the convent. WB swamped by assignments and theology texts and new friendships blossoming. And me bumbling along trying to find my way.

My life feels chaotic and strangely on hold. It is another of those waiting times - waiting to hear about my future ministry (if I have one?). I wonder how many years of our lives we spend waiting. I think it must be quite a lot.

I feel God moving under the surface, laying foundations and planting seeds. Tending his lost sheep. I feel God working and I don't know where He is leading. I feel God working and I don't know if I am ready - ready for what? I feel God working and I want to run and hide, though a part of me wants to jump and sing an be lost in Exuberance for the workings and work of God.

Advent

Here we are in another time of waiting. Waiting... waiting..... waiting.....

What are we waiting for? What are we looking forward to? 2006 is fas approaching and this will see many changes in our lives and our church. The arrival of our new leadership, the loss of Juniour (loss to us for a while but a big adventure into new beginnings for her).

Before the New Year, there is Christmas. What is that all about? Tinsell and chocolate and turkey and chocolate and baubles and did I mention the chocolate?

or

Friends and family and excitement and presents and love and joy and JESUS. Let's not forget Him or lose Him in the leftovers and the pretty paper.

Jesus is also waiting, waiting to break through into our lives in a whole new way. Not as a baby left to moulder in an ancient manger, forgotton and abandoned like the carcass of last years turkey. But as the Son of God, the Prince of Peace, Saviour and King. And as friend, brother, consoler.

Make room and let Him transform our waiting with His unending love.

We will watch, and wait, and write

I’m in the mood to write – so I read (huh?)
I read through our blog – there are some powerful words there.
There are words of hope they are a bit buried but they are there.

We will watch, and wait, and write

We will watch as the world changes around us,
We will watch as the church stays the same
We will watch as hope is crushed
We will watch as the church stays silent
We will watch as life comes to a crashing end
We will watch as the church ….

We the church watch as we stay the same
We the church watch as hope is crushed
We the church watch as life …

Life in all it’s fullness
Life with all the cuts and bruises
Life with all the joy and laughter
Life in all of it’s horror and all of it’s glory

Hope crushed
Life crashing
Life staying the same?

I don’t think so
We will wait as the world changes around us
We will wait as the church stays the same
We will wait as hope is crushed
We will wait as the church stays silent
We will wait as life comes crashing to an end
We will wait as the church …

We will wait as the kingdom of God breaks through

We the church, watch and wait for the kingdom of God to break through

We are so busy watching and waiting
that we are missing the kingdom of God breaking through

If we saw it
Would we tell the world?
Would we write about it?
Or would we continue to watch and wait?
Saying in a hushed whisper to those who watch and wait with us “did you see it?”

We will watch, and wait, and write.

Silence

They wanted a place to talk
But discovered silence
They wanted a place to talk
But discovered that talk hurt
They wanted a place to talk
But discovered they couldn’t handle the talk

The talk raised pain too intense that it drove them to silence
The talk made them question themselves in to silence
The talk was lost in the darkness of silence

They genuinely wanted to talk
friends at the same church
but in very different places in their own spiritual journey’s

They wanted a safe place to talk
A safe place to express hopes and dreams
A safe place to talk about faith and church

The talk raised fears too big to share
The talk found anger too deep to express
The talk was lost in the darkness of doubt

They wanted a place to talk
But discovered silence

they forgot the Yet!

There is pattern in me
Well maybe it’s a rhythm as it’s made of sound, it’s made of words
I want to talk but it’s not just words that need to be said
But a sound to be made
A rhythm to be spoken

Where can you go when you are at the bottom of your pit
When there is no light
When it seems there will never be any light again

Do you give in?

After a week of wondering
Shall I give in,
Shall I just lay down in the dark and wither away
Decompose, dehydrate into a pile of dust
Dust to dust
Ashes to ashes
After a week I made a decision
A small decision
But nevertheless a decision.

I would survive.

Don’t know how.
Don’t even know why
I’ve been here before - curled up in the bottom of this pit
I can’t guarantee I’ll not be here again …
If anything I could probably guarantee that I will be here again.
I gave everything I had
Everything
Not just my skills, and gifts
Not just my joys and desires
Everything.
All of me
My doubts and fears as well – I faced them, I owned them and offered them as well
They took it all
threw it away – and said
“It’s not good enough, it’s not right, it’s not complete”
You’re not good enough
You’re not right
You’re not complete

Yet.. they forgot the yet
I’m not good enough yet
I’m not right yet
I’m not complete yet
None of us are.

I made a decision
A small decision
But nevertheless a decision.
I would survive.
Don’t know how
Don’t even know why

But I will.

“You did not choose me, I chose you”

I need to listen to what I preach! From July 25th 2004

If we are chosen by God then what choice do we have?
If we were chosen before we were formed in our mothers womb then what choice do we have?
If we were chosen before the world was created
before time began than what choice do we have?

The only choice we have is how we respond to His call.

God created us –I believe he created us to share with Him his creation. To wonder with Him in the amazing things he has created.

To ponder in awe at the moon and the stars,
to breathe in the flavour of the seasons,
to feel the fresh morning dew beneath our feet,
to feel the invisible warmth of the sun,
to wonder at the majesty of the clouds,
how they can catch the sunlight at sunrise or sunset
and change the blue sky to beautiful gold’s, reds and purples,
to watch in amazement at ants that can move things
that are many times heavier than their own body weight,
to giggle at the hedgehog, or the pangolin as they curl up,
to watch with pride as our children start to take their first steps

I believe that he also created us to weep with him,
to struggle along side him
to try to help when see someone hurt or in pain
to weep when we have lost someone or something
to feel compassion for those near us and for those further away in distress
to survive the storm that surrounds us at times
to carry on breathing when the loneliness of the world wants to steal our breath
to continue to hope even if it’s just a glimmer when the darkness steals our dreams

I believe he created us to share with him.

That is what His call is

Come and share with me

Our choice is how we respond